Thursday, March 11, 2010

psst... I've Moved..

You can find my new blog at ......


Monday, December 29, 2008

God is in control...God has a plan...God's plan is really really good.

I had a great plan for our trip to faithwalkers.. that was conceived just days before faithwalkers.. while I think God’s plan for our trip to faithwalkers was planned long before that.

My plan consisted of bonding 5 single women together thru talking about the word, our daily lives, and playing some fun games with our past life experiences.. while God’s plan for bonding 5 women together.. well.. that looked VERY different..

God’s plan was a 9 hour car ride, I think he must have decided 9 hours was much better for bonding than the normal 5 hours it would take.. God’s plan also was lots of prayer before hand bonding us together thru praying for our trip before it even begin for flights to arrive on time and a safe trip..

God’s plan was for a friend to fall on the ice and then to transport her 9 hours and take care of her the entire time who required a lot of care. But because she needed extra care, it bonded all of us closer together, we had to come close and support each other, we could not bicker over where to stop, or when, or anything for that fact, we instead drew closer together, supporting each other, with facts and love to support each other, with hugs and funny facts, such as at least were getting better gas mileagea since we are only going 35 instead of 70 and documentation of course J It allowed us to welcome our new roomie into our lives and extended time!

MY plan was getting the most out of every faithwalkers session while God’s plan was very different.

I missed the majority of the first two sessions as I chatted back and forth with Alicia at the hospital.. I missed the first breakout session because I was still at the hospital.. I made it to the afternoon session I felt really important and I was so grateful, I was overwhelmed with emotions and feelings and lack of sleep, I had yet to see any amount of sleep, since I had been up for 18 hours and only getting only 4 hours of sleep the night before.. but in the session it was shared from Ruth, God is in control, God has a plan, and God’s plan is always really good, and to be honest.. I needed to hear that because I was beginning to wonder. I made it to sleep at 5:00 after being up for 40+ hours.. thinking I would just sleep for an hour… and make it to the evening session.. I even set two alarms.. but as I quickly fell asleep, I slept thru two alarms, two phone calls… and miss the evening session, and yet, that was God’s plan..

I woke up this morning.. yet still tired, and now semi sick, had I not slept, I can only imagine that I would be really sick. God’s thoughts and ways are not my ways, and I am thankful for that.. At breakfast this morning I lost it emotionally thinking about how all of what has happened is my fault, and I failed so many people, wondering if I did the right things, if I did it all right.. but as I cried out to God, God answered me and said...

Isaiah 55:8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord.
As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts..

I still feel bad about all that has happened,.. I am still sick, and my faithwalkers still doesn’t look anything like what I thought my faithwalkers would EVER look like.. however I know that God is good and God has a plan, and his plan is really really GOOD.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


I have dreamed sooo long that it would once happen... I thought at one time in my journey it would never happen.. Only because in order for me to get in onederland.. one would have to loose almost 100 pounds... but women/men! it's possible! :)

Cool Stats & Fast Facts!
I've lost over a 100 pounds.. thats right!!! I've reached above and beyond my 100 pound loss mark, and it feels sooo good!!!

I've lost 117.5 inches! Forever gone.

I am six sizes smaller than where I started.

My HDL which is your good cholestral is finally up! - It's risen from 30 - to 51!!!
My Total Cholesteral has gone from 225(2006) to 192 (2007) to 178 (2008)
My Triglicerides have gone from 162 (2006) to 147 (2007) to 128 (2008)

My Body Fat has dropped considerably! I've gone from 48% (2006) to 22%!!! (2008)

My BMI has gone from 45.2 (Morbidly Obese) to 29.6.

I (yes me!!) am a cycling instructor!!

I've walked 1 5k, and Ran 4 5K's!
I've run 5 Sprint Tri's!! and 1 Olympic Tri! :) - WHO would have ever thought?!

I couldn't have done it all without support of family and friends... Sometimes I felt as thought I was wadding thru rising waters of temptation or frustration of people not understanding what I was doing.. there were always those who had my back, and who I hope will continue to have my back.. because girlfriends, this girl is not done yet! :) I will never forget the times when you came around me to support me, to cheer me on, to celebrate what I have done, it meant the world to me, and I cannot thank you enough. I will never forget the times when you asked what you could do to help, or what you could do to educate your own self so that you could walk side by side with me in this long rode.

It's been a little over three years... three years you say?! Yes, I wonder sometimes how three years have slipped by so fast, but one of my dear friends a year ago wrote one of the coolest things for me, on my weight loss anniversary just a little over a year ago, I will never forget it, I keep it next to my bed and read it often, it reminds me of the truth, it encourages me to push forward in every step I take. (thank you friend!)

I could have also never of done any of this without God. I know sounds funny huh.. you're probably thinking but you did this all on your own motivation and will power, etc.. right?! Wrong.. I cannot tell you how many times I have struggled with eating late at night, or wanting to eat out with friends, or just not going to the gym, but I can tell you how many times my God was so faithful, that he meet me right where I was. He was faithful as I called out to him in
prayer to be my self control when I had none. He was faithful even when I was not.

I cannot begin to explain how many pages in my journals were filled with prayers, frustrations and wondering if I was ever going to get it all.. if I was even understanding what God had for me thru it all.. there were so many times I wanted a simple answer, I wanted to wish it all away, and hope that it would be fixed overnight.. but there were so many times God brought me back to his truth. When I found my self in the most difficult places (eating out of control, wanting to give up, not wanting to perserve in what God had for me, or even in the task) I sought out the power of his holy spirt and in prayer, and I always felt even if I had to wait days... God always seemed to meet me and answer..

God gave me amazing verses along the way, that I want to share with all of you.

Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such
things there is no law.

Galatians 5:24-25 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep
in step with the Spirit.

Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Psalms 16:7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.

I hope no matter what you are going thru big or small... short or long, you too find it challenging and rewarding even till the end :)

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

It's Like Beer Googles... only not..

I think beer googles might be better..

Lately I've been struggling a lot with my weight.. while I am happy with all of the progress I have made, and I feel great.. I just wish I could see it, I wish that I looked that good. I've wondered If I would ever get under that magic number I have wished upon for years..

Last night I had to take pictures for work, during a softball game. Since I really wanted to play softball as well, i ran around and took pictures while I wasn't playing and then while I played, I handed the camera off to a coworker and told her she could take pictures if she wanted.. but she really didn't need to.

But as I was downloading pictures today at work I came across two pictures.. both of which I was almost confused as to who was in the pictures.. at one point I even said.. who is that!! Both of the pictures I am talking about were of me!! It's not becasue the pictures look horrible or they are ugly or they portray me as overly heavy.. It was like looking at my self with a new pair of glasses, only they had this image that was totally differnet of how I view myself.

I don't let many people take pictures of me, because I don't like how I think I look. And I normally end up deleting most pics.. but for some reason I never saw these..

I kind of feel like I've been walking around with beer googles on or something.. convincing my self of all these lies.. and non truths, while in the mean time, looking at these pictures.. I look GOOD! But I still don't really see it when I look at myself in the mirror. I wonder how you convince yourself to look at you and see someone who you havent' seen for a really long time..

I wonder how we can look at ourselves with just a clear vision, of truth, how we really look, and not how we think we look..

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Being True To Yourself

I was recently reading an article that was passed on to me from a coworker about being true to yourself. I think it had some great points, and I wanted to share them all of you.

In the story of Noah's ark, Noah was already almost 500 years old when he heard the voice of God commanding him to building a giant four hundred foot ark. Noah had never seen a boat this size in his lifetime and certainly did not posses the knowledge of how to build such a thing, but as he was guided by God's instruction which came thru him. Everyone around Noah laughed and still Noah keep going he trusted God and kept working. Through it took 120 years, and Noah completed the ark, he and his family, and all the animals were then saved from the floods that rushed the earth. Had not noah stayed true to himself, ignoring those voices of the people around him, the world as we know it would be totally different? maybe even extinct? I don't know if God would have let this happen, but Noah definitly had to stay believe in what God was telling him, and staying true to what was being instructed, not easily influenced by those around him.

Being true to yourself means looking within to discover what you know in your heart to be right and then acting on it. It does not mean following every last whim or urge that you might have; that is just selfishness in disguise. It means being true to your values and morals. It meals being honest in all things; knowing the truth, walking by that truth, and living by that truth. And being true to yourself, might be different to you, than someone else being true to them.. It is not always easy to go against the grain... and no one can do this for you, but you..

Have you been true to yourself today?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I have to say..

I have to say that I am udderly and totally confused as of late!

I have to say that I am trying to eat healthier but I am soo confused as to what I should eat and what I shoudln't eat.. I am finding my self either.. not eating, because I am afraid it might have some bad affect on my body or I am overeating because I am soo confused (not to mention haven't had much to eat the days before!) and get to frustrated with the research that I just say forget it, and I eat what I want..

I have to say that all of the sudden for some reason people in my group of friends have decided that HFCS is really bad for you.... but I don't know if I really believe that, I want like hard evidence, good solid research and I have yet to see it..

I have to say that the research out there on HFCS is very limited, and for the most part from all that I have read is HFCS is just another sugar, there has not been one study that I have found to proven it to actually link it to obesity, or have really harmful effects to your body. Also the prevalence of obesity is increasing around the world, however HFCS outside the United States is very limited or non exisistent.. this dones't make sense to me..

I have to say that with all the research out there, and yet there is no research to tell us that it is a direct link to obesity, or damaging our body's, why is everyone getting so concerned about getting rid of it in their diet? Is this just another trend in society? Are people becoming more aware of something that I am totally missing?

Further more.. I have to say, that anyone who totally alleminates HFCS from their diet will be mostly eating whole foods (vegetables, fruits, and proteins, maybe whole grains) things that are unprocessed? right? so if you were eating that kind of stuff, wouldn't that in and of it's self lead you down a path of loosing weight? Unless maybe if you ate to much of it, but still... couldn't a person still eat a small of HFCS in some processed food, and be living a healthy lifestyle? a good diet? and good exercise?

I have to say that I am totally and uderly confused, and frustrated, but maybe that's just me :)!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

It's Official!!!! :)

I am going to be a SPIN instructor!!! For the rec services depart of the University I work for!!!

I am way excited. I taught my first ever class the past wednesday as an audition and it went really well, I even had a girl come up to me after class ask me if I was going to be teaching every wednesday night at that time.. She said she really enjoyed my class.. that was a really cool compliment!! The instructor who was evaluating me had nothing but positives to say to me so that was really great!! She said the only thing I did wrong was I forgot to introduce my self, how crazy.

The class was really fun but tough, about 45 minutes into it, I thought for a short time I might vomit, so I know if I push that hard I can't imagine what others might have been feeling, I can sometimes be tough, but I love to push!! :) This really is a great stepping stone for me, and I am really excited to teach!

As it stands right now... there will be two free classes you all can come to if you want!!!! :) The first is July 21st at 12:15, the second is July 28th at 12:15... don't worry it's only 45 minutes! :) And I promise it will be fun!!!

It also makes me really realize that no matter what, as long as I don't give up on a dream, anything is possible, even if there might be a roadblock one year or another :)