Wednesday, October 01, 2008

It's Like Beer Googles... only not..

I think beer googles might be better..

Lately I've been struggling a lot with my weight.. while I am happy with all of the progress I have made, and I feel great.. I just wish I could see it, I wish that I looked that good. I've wondered If I would ever get under that magic number I have wished upon for years..

Last night I had to take pictures for work, during a softball game. Since I really wanted to play softball as well, i ran around and took pictures while I wasn't playing and then while I played, I handed the camera off to a coworker and told her she could take pictures if she wanted.. but she really didn't need to.

But as I was downloading pictures today at work I came across two pictures.. both of which I was almost confused as to who was in the pictures.. at one point I even said.. who is that!! Both of the pictures I am talking about were of me!! It's not becasue the pictures look horrible or they are ugly or they portray me as overly heavy.. It was like looking at my self with a new pair of glasses, only they had this image that was totally differnet of how I view myself.

I don't let many people take pictures of me, because I don't like how I think I look. And I normally end up deleting most pics.. but for some reason I never saw these..

I kind of feel like I've been walking around with beer googles on or something.. convincing my self of all these lies.. and non truths, while in the mean time, looking at these pictures.. I look GOOD! But I still don't really see it when I look at myself in the mirror. I wonder how you convince yourself to look at you and see someone who you havent' seen for a really long time..

I wonder how we can look at ourselves with just a clear vision, of truth, how we really look, and not how we think we look..


At 8:37 AM , Anonymous Charity said...

Uh-hem. Did I not just tell you "You look good"?! I don't care what that silly ol' scale says. And I'm glad you can see yourself with a fresh set of eyes. So, I'll say it again, "You look good - no, wait - amazing!"

At 6:38 PM , Anonymous Dana C said...

Here, here! to what Charity said!

At 12:01 PM , Blogger Autumn said...

Hi there! My name is Autumn and I am from the church over in Ames. I can 100% relate to how you're feeling about your body. I really believe that even though we get new bodies someday, God gets TONS of glory from the work he put into creating us here and now. I've tossed around the idea of having a mini-conference for women to discuss the relationship between our spiritual and physical lives (eating, sleeping, exercise--the whole nine yards). I really think it's a struggle for most of us!

I also just wanted to give you a website. Now, I'm not suggesting that this is your condition, but I just wanted to let you know that body dysmorphia is real and affects so many women. You can read more at the Mayo Clinic's webpage (a reputable resource).

Keep being real and working hard--it's beautiful!

At 5:07 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every time I see you, you look more fabulous!

Alicia S.


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